Saturday, 30 November 2024

Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags (5) Christmas Annual

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags (5) 
Christmas Annual
Christmas Themed excerpts from Ebook 










My True Love At Christmas
by Alan Ewing



On the first day of Christmas, my true love said to me: "You can get that beard shaved off to begin with!"

On the second day of Christmas, my true love said to me: "Oi! You give more attention to Facebook than you do to me!

On the third day of Christmas , my true love said to me:  “You can do the dishes”

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love said to me: “What happened to my present?”

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love love to me: ”No Christmas Cake in bed for you tonight!”

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love said to me: ”I’m putting you out with the left-overs”

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love said to me: “I’m your Christmas Cracker!”

On the eight day of Christmas, my true love said to me:  “All booze bottles contents are measured”

On the ninth day of Christmas. My true love said to me:  “You pinched the last chocolate!”

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love said to me:  “My word rules!”

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love said to me: "I guess that you deserve a kiss”

 On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love said to me "You always hog the TV Remote!"








CHRIST MASS
an anglo-catholic witness by Alan Ewing 


Christmas. A celebration of the birthday of Jesus Christ. Or is it? The synoptic Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, do not actually fix a date.

The church began celebrating "Christ Mass" in the 4th Century CE.  This was a time when The New Testament itself was being canonised.  The 1st Century CE is shrouded in mystery. Very little is known about it.

A linear date is not really the point. As The Gospel of John says: "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God."

The symbolism of linear dated Christmas, 25th December, is that humanity is guided back to the light by the birth of Christ.  It comes a few days after Winter Solstice in The Northern Hemisphere, at which point The Earth tilts back towards the light of The Sun. After our fellow friends in Southern Hemisphere have enjoyed Summer.

The birth of Christ is an eternal event that transcends time.
 
 






Advent Story (with video)
 



Advent for Samantha and Steve was always a precious time. They had met at this time of year. They had got engaged a year later in the season. And then, a year later they had married in Advent. Both of their children, a boy and a girl had been born in Advent. And then they had split up in Advent.
The new Advent came with a Decree Nisi on their marriage, with the intention for the Decree Absolute to follow. But their Advent Story was not over just yet. For Steve and Samantha rekindled their romance, withdrew the divorce proceedings, and would have many Advent Anniversaries and grandchildren in the Advents to come.
 





 
GAG: “Fancy pulling a Christmas Cracker?” Asked Jimmo’s sister-in-law. “You bet!” He replied, putting his arm around her. Jimmo spent the rest of the night in the dog-house outside.




 
 
Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags by Alan Ewing
available on Amazon
 
 
 
 
 

copyright dewyswriter 2024




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