Late Summer Writing (2) by Alan Ewing
THE GREAT CHEESE DEBATE: Everybody knows it's made from Cow's milk' said Bertie. 'Not so', piped up Tommy, "It grows on Cheese Plants like my dad told me!" Graham laughed: 'You're both wrong. The Moon is made of cheese, as Wallace & Gromit proved. It gets imported to Earth by rockets!'
AI Gerl
Excuse me!
I asked.
Why should I?
She replied
Can you comply?
I requested.
No! I can't.
She answered.
Do you mind?
I stated.
Not a bit.
She said.
It was funny
And was sunny
She took time
No friend of mine
It was all AI
Latest model
Developed fault
Not worth its salt
Her name was Pepper.
101 Labradors
All I wish for is 101 Labrador puppies
With Siamese kittens to match
I'd be such a very happy yuppy
If life allow this without a catch
A few years to go with economics
Till I can find a bit of Peace
You know I'll go supersonic
When I finally find release
Sometimes I tire and want to be with The Lord
I long for Him to arrive to avenge with sword
Though I know that Love is so complicated
And I do not wish to end up exasperated
I just long for domestic bliss in life
Like cosying down after a day
With loved ones who actually care
And it's not put down to heresay
And so I wish for 101 Labrador puppies
With Siamese Kittens to match
For what is life without an aim?
A silly old troubled and futile game
The Great Cake
This was the day of the cake. Gerald had staked everything upon it to impress Geraldine. He told her that it would be the greatest cake ever made. It would blow off the Victoria Sponges, Swiss Rolls and Bakewell Tarts. Nothing would ever match it in history for sure. He was convinced that he would win her.
Come the day for his presentation to her, Gerald ended up in a mess. His cake was flat because he forgot to put in the Baking Powder. He was mortified. How could this happen? He had forgotten his own ingredient - arrogance. Geraldine laughed and said that it was a piece of cake to walk out upon him.
BLONDE GAG: How many blondes does it take to change a light-bulb? Answer: Too many!
My Church of England Rosary Bead
My Church of England
Rosary Bead
Means so much
At my touch
Not Roman Catholic
Anglo Catholic
My dedication
Oh my frustration
I pray for Love
To reign
An end
To war and pain
I need Resurrection
Within my soul
Holy Ghost
Is my goal
My Church of England
Rosary Bead
Means so much
At my touch
Fizz
I got in a bit of a tizz
Bottle of pop went fizz
Tried a little Brandy
Made me go randy
A Mrs from a Mizz
Tried to get my head
Together all said
Into a state of finesse
Tried for the best
I'd be better off dead
Tried to make amends
Ended up with dead-ends
You're taking the joke
When you really do poke
At the love that I send
Going out of my mind
You are really so kind
For a great cup of tea
That made me see
All that I could find
So now my mind is clear
It's very easy to steer
To where I should go
I'd like you to know
All is well around here
Move On
When I move on
I'll move
faster than sound
in a groove
When I walk on
no talk
silence of footsteps
I'll heed all sorts
When I leave you
just so
speed of movement
I will go
When it is time
on clock
take my steps
key in lock
When comes dawn
I will leave
que on time
you better believe
Frustration
When nobody is on your level
Like tuning in an old FM radio
When you feel like everyone
Is playing the devil
When you feel you are going
Out of your mind
And feel inclined
To go out and do some sowing
When life has brought you
All lemons, no lemonade
When nothing makes any sense
I've been there too
When there seems to be
Nobody around
Not even a sound
It gets hard to see
Though know that moments
Are only still
And you find within yourself
A symphonic thrill
The Pharmacist
My pharmacist
Is Abayda
Muslim gerl
Takes a twirl
Lovely Abayda
Gets my pills
On time
Wish that she
Was mine
Gorgeous Abayda
Sweet Muslim
Gerl
Head in
A twerl
Oh Abayda
Tradition dress
Never a mess
Hear it for
Beautiful Abayda
Always my friend
I say
Peace Be Upon You
Sweet Abayda
The Bum's Rush
Did you
Get it?
Saiddit
The Rush
Up yer
Bum
Hardly
Fun
Adorable
Got
Pinched
Ouch!
Surprise
In eyes
It came
For true
Hardly sit
On it
You know
Bum's Rush
Every Word
Every word
She says
I hang
Upon
My woman
friend
For love
is Anon
Trust given
All weight
Gone now
Oh how
Soul mate
not too
late
Take a
bow
Love
Oh how
So
So
this is
it
What
you
may
wonder
Is
going
on
Well
It
Is
You
Driving
Me
Around
The
Bend
Again
EXISTENTIAL GAG: I think, therefore I am a lunatic
copyright dewyswriter 2025
