Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags ebook by Alan Ewing (6) (Summer Special)

 

 

 

 

 

 Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags ebook by Alan Ewing (6) (Summer Special)

 

 

 ODE TO BIRKENHEAD

 

You can always come to Birkenhead

Eat fried bread with bacon and egg

Take a ride on the number 72 bus

To Heswall with all of the pomp and fuss

 

Come on down to lil' ol' Birkenhead

We tend to say "Bir en' 'ead really

We talk in our own way when all is said

We'll take in Hamilton Square scenary

 

Come and fill your boots in Birkenhead

For those of you who are easily led

We'll take you down to Grange Precinct

Have a burger it'll be so succint

 

Get your arse down to Birkenhead

Music stores to get you out of bed

A library full of WW1 Wilfred Owen

Just so you know where yer goin'

 

So come join us here in "Bir en' 'ead"

We'll have such fun on a pub crawl

We'll get to see the rising dead

Hungover from night-before trawl

 

Hey come to see Birkenhead, Lady!

Used to be home of Paul O'Grady

Lovely Lily Savage you may just hold

As we walk down Corporation Road

 

 

 

UK HOT 

A MidSummers’ Day here

Thunderstorms on way dear

Getting so hot in your pants

Take them off privately by chance

It’s so dreadfully hot in here

Rain coming soon have no fear

Double down on my dance

It’ll be back with a sure chance

Gosh! I’m dancing in my kitched

Like the gerls on a night of bitchin’

Wine is flowing, don’t forget mate

You betta remember to re-hydrate

Can’t get comfortable in my bed

Sweat is pouring from my head

You only need to have a cup of tea

So much sweat there’s no need to pee

Oh! In England we are not used to this

We like fair weather though not like this

So let’s see now who is the keenest

To go and live on Planet Venus

Writer’s Perogative

 Musician I may be

Never free

Actor for lines

So fine

Puppets on string

Not a thing

Like dancers same

Someone's game

You see a writer

God's little fighter

Pulls the strings

With such things

As ideas on the wind

Ideology within

The writer is the power

Within rhyming hour

You see it's in the pen

To say here and then

Words are the way

Within a writer's play

 

 

2p Story

Valentine Surprise

Jimmy had it all worked out. His wife wouldn't be in till 6:30 pm. Julie was always a woman of routine with her work patterns. He had the table set with candles and wine. The bed was made. The electric blanket charged up. Barry White was on the record player. This would be a Valentine's Night to remember. One for the diary. he hooved up, cleaned and dusted so that Julie would be in a good mood with him when she got home.

 

When Julie arrived home her sister was with her. "Oh lovely!" Said her sister. "Table set and look at those chocolates". The door chimed its bell as more woman arrived. Jimmy had forgotten that it was Julie's annual works meeting and do. He went to bed with a lot of women's voices and laughter coming up through the ceiling. Jimmy hid his head under the pillow with great frustration.

 

 

 

GAG: 'I keep getting strange numbers on my phone" said Ethel. "You been responding to supermarket surveys again!" Groaned Mabel.

VALENTINE: Cue to Forlorn Street, where Dave Robbins is throwing a wobble because he was turned down for a date by Janet Wharton. He said he'd put forward a pound if she topped up the date kitty to £20 ... he got small change! 

GAG: "You're such a drama queen Gerald" said Carol. "You'd make a movie out of your little toe, with a sequel 'The Return Of The Little Toe"

NETFLIX GAG: 'Before you scroll to exit, go up one and "Get Help' you need it!' Laughed Edna. Bertie was not amused.

 

Click here for ebook page

 

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War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy: Reflections

 

 

 

 

 

War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy: Reflections

 

This work, as Tolstoy saw it, rather than a novel, is of great length. It requires studious attention as it unfolds. Prinicipally it follows the the fortunes of the aristocracy in 19th Century Russia at the time of The Napoleanonic Wars. More than that though, it describes the horrors of war and its consequences. The characters are shown on the battlefield while an overview of the military campaign is given alongside this. Therefore it demands from the reader various skills, firstly in tradition novel character form and then in analysis of military maneuvers.

 

A main theme within the book is the nature of war itself. What is it? Why does it happen and what drives it. Tolstoy puts forward that it is Deity which causes it. His argument is that war happens of its own accord within the governance of the known universe. He rejects the notion of great men who cause it and carry it out to great effect. For Tolstoy, war has a mind of its own unto which it spirals endlessly. It is hap-hazard and owes little to great tacticians rathet it is sheer chaos out of which spring rapid opportunities of advance for one side or the other. 

 

Tolstoy also asks why the people consent to it? Do they unconditionally give allegiance to the state they live in regardless of its political culture. We can ask if nationalism overides all other considerations such as state dissent. We can ask if certain hypnotic figures emerge who cause the people to converge around him/her. Many have argued that war is in human nature. Tolstoy dismisses the historians and their various attributes to Mankind. For him there can be no doubt that the major factor lies in a force that governs life.

 

Overall, the work is a challenge to take on and requires great patience and time from the reader. The characters and their fortunes, plus their search for the meaning of life, enthral as they harbour within this. The vivid descriptions of life in 19th Century Russia is an education within itself. Then the reader is challenged to think deeply about the nature of war, life itself even and the causes of it. It requires reading routine and discipline to keep with it. It is well worth the effort to discover the depths of this Russian Literary Classic.

 

  

Alan Ewing, Cert HE, BA (Hons), MSc 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:  The follow-up work "Anna Karenina"was considered by Tolstoy to be his first actual novel. In this book Tolstoy is simply writing a novel with characters. Aristocracy again in 19th Century Russia, although without the long passges of war scenes and general philosophy on a Deity which is difficult to identify. Essntially Tolstoy concentrates on charcter romance.

 

 

 

 

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