Valentine's Work Do
a 2 paragraph story by Alan Ewing
Jimmy
had it all worked out. His wife wouldn't be in till 6:30 pm. Julie was
always a woman of routine with her work patterns. He had the table set
with candles and wine. The bed was made. The electric blanket charged up. Barry White was on the record
player. This would be a Valentine's Night to remember. One for the diary. he hooved up, cleaned and dusted so that Julie would be in a good mood with him when she got home.
When Julie
arrived home her sister was with her. "Oh lovely!" Said her sister.
"Table set and look at those chocolates". The door chimed its bell as
more woman arrived. Jimmy had forgotten that it was Julie's annual works meeting and do. He went to bed with a lot of women's voices and laughter coming up through the ceiling. Jimmy hid his head under the pillow with great frustration.
Valentine Jottings
Meanwhile, down Valentines Road, Raymond is pouring his heart out to his budgie. "Cheep Cheep' He chirped. The budgie had learned to talk and replied: 'This bird seed is crap, very cheap cheap!' [no budgies were harmed in writing this gag; and neither was Raymond] Laugh! I could cry with these gags. I wanted to be a gag writer though they kept taking me seriously. Oo la la then!
GAG: 'I keep getting strange numbers on my phone" said Ethel. "You been responding to supermarket surveys again!" Groaned Mabel.
VALENTINE: Cue to Forlorn Street, where Dave Robbins is throwing a wobble because he was turned down for a date by Janet Wharton. He said he'd put forward a pound if she topped up the date kitty to £20 ... he got small change!
copyright dewyswriter 2025
