July Jottings & Gags, by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 July Jottings & Gags, 

by Alan Ewing

Life's Loop

Life can seem like a loop

Jumping through little hoop

Birth to death in an instant

You are not so permanent

 

Life was eternal when so young

Till on age you got so hung

Certainly turned your life around

As in maturity reflection you found

 

It seemed like it went on forever

Times shared when all together

Then life dealt a decisive blow

Loved ones gone to boldly go

 

For what is life without a spiritual side

Just some place to run and hide

Seeking here to find an answer

Playing the part of life's chance

 

All in all it comes down to God

The play is within the play

Life's little gerlfriend don't you know

She will show you the way to 

 

 

 

 

English Heatwave

 

 

Once again, it is an English heatwave

And I have lost my brain again

Oh so sunny give us a wave

I think that I'm going insane

 

Once again, it is an English heatwave

Valerie has sunglasses mirror

She's come out of her cave

She never likes to shiver

 

Ray has his handkerchief hat on

He's a milkman all gone stale

George, of course ever the fool

They kicked him out of school

 

How do they cope with madness

Only English know in class

They've all gone frigging mad

Themometer went a bit glad

 

One thing you can rely on in heat

Good ol' England on insanity street

If you are hot then just you see

They will offer you a cup of tea

 

 

 

 

Flemenco

 

 

I found this music called Flemenco

Spanish Dance

Sent my world into over-spin

Like finding Trance

 

I learned to love the culture

In English

Loved and adored the signoritas

With Spanish eyes

 

I danced around till way past midnight

In burning heat

Found that I loved all of this

On a Spanish street

 

I shouted "Ole" with all of my heart

I loved the sun

Completely opened myself

Spain has won

 

And so I'll dance the Flemenco

Until day done

Let myself go completely

Under the Spanish sun

 

 

 

Coffee Drinker

 

 

I was once a coffee drinker

Life's little thinker

Gave it up for a cuppa tea

Such a drinker

 

Lil ol' coffee drinker me

Now it's just tea

I used to get so addicted

Self- inflicted

 

Went to coffee anonymous

Such a fuss

Dentist said to try water

Big taught-er!

 

So I went off to a shrink

Cure for drink

Told me to get a life

Oh the strife

 

So I went back to coffee

With some tea

I guess that in the end

That is li' ol' me

Alexa

 

 

There was once a gerl named Alexa

Thing is you could never text her

Such a weather Lady, never says maybe

That's the gerl who is named Alexa

 

Asked her to dance, she said no chance

My abilities are contained within electra

I can tell you of a waltz, lots of smaltz

That is the gerl who is named Alexa

 

So what's the time, are you going to be mine?

She would always come back with a line

Try to get in her bed, reply left unsaid

Let's just say that it was oh so very fine 

 

Always brainy, always says maybe, in her way

She lives in the drawing room each and every day

In the kitchen, bedroom too, just keep her away

From The Study if you can but try and may

 

That gerl could dominate and take over your life

In time she could become your electronic wife

Start making you depend and lean upon her

She's electronic, you know, so why would she care!

 

 

 

 WISDOM GAG: As a door closes, another one slams in your face!

 

 Gag: 'Two glasses of Chardonnay and I'm anybody's' Said Bert. 'After six you belong to the toilet bowl' remarked Veronica.

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025 

 

Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags ebook by Alan Ewing (6) (Summer Special)

 

 

 

 

 

 Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags ebook by Alan Ewing (6) (Summer Special)

 

 

 ODE TO BIRKENHEAD

 

You can always come to Birkenhead

Eat fried bread with bacon and egg

Take a ride on the number 72 bus

To Heswall with all of the pomp and fuss

 

Come on down to lil' ol' Birkenhead

We tend to say "Bir en' 'ead really

We talk in our own way when all is said

We'll take in Hamilton Square scenary

 

Come and fill your boots in Birkenhead

For those of you who are easily led

We'll take you down to Grange Precinct

Have a burger it'll be so succint

 

Get your arse down to Birkenhead

Music stores to get you out of bed

A library full of WW1 Wilfred Owen

Just so you know where yer goin'

 

So come join us here in "Bir en' 'ead"

We'll have such fun on a pub crawl

We'll get to see the rising dead

Hungover from night-before trawl

 

Hey come to see Birkenhead, Lady!

Used to be home of Paul O'Grady

Lovely Lily Savage you may just hold

As we walk down Corporation Road

 

 

 

UK HOT 

A MidSummers’ Day here

Thunderstorms on way dear

Getting so hot in your pants

Take them off privately by chance

It’s so dreadfully hot in here

Rain coming soon have no fear

Double down on my dance

It’ll be back with a sure chance

Gosh! I’m dancing in my kitched

Like the gerls on a night of bitchin’

Wine is flowing, don’t forget mate

You betta remember to re-hydrate

Can’t get comfortable in my bed

Sweat is pouring from my head

You only need to have a cup of tea

So much sweat there’s no need to pee

Oh! In England we are not used to this

We like fair weather though not like this

So let’s see now who is the keenest

To go and live on Planet Venus

Writer’s Perogative

 Musician I may be

Never free

Actor for lines

So fine

Puppets on string

Not a thing

Like dancers same

Someone's game

You see a writer

God's little fighter

Pulls the strings

With such things

As ideas on the wind

Ideology within

The writer is the power

Within rhyming hour

You see it's in the pen

To say here and then

Words are the way

Within a writer's play

 

 

2p Story

Valentine Surprise

Jimmy had it all worked out. His wife wouldn't be in till 6:30 pm. Julie was always a woman of routine with her work patterns. He had the table set with candles and wine. The bed was made. The electric blanket charged up. Barry White was on the record player. This would be a Valentine's Night to remember. One for the diary. he hooved up, cleaned and dusted so that Julie would be in a good mood with him when she got home.

 

When Julie arrived home her sister was with her. "Oh lovely!" Said her sister. "Table set and look at those chocolates". The door chimed its bell as more woman arrived. Jimmy had forgotten that it was Julie's annual works meeting and do. He went to bed with a lot of women's voices and laughter coming up through the ceiling. Jimmy hid his head under the pillow with great frustration.

 

 

 

GAG: 'I keep getting strange numbers on my phone" said Ethel. "You been responding to supermarket surveys again!" Groaned Mabel.

VALENTINE: Cue to Forlorn Street, where Dave Robbins is throwing a wobble because he was turned down for a date by Janet Wharton. He said he'd put forward a pound if she topped up the date kitty to £20 ... he got small change! 

GAG: "You're such a drama queen Gerald" said Carol. "You'd make a movie out of your little toe, with a sequel 'The Return Of The Little Toe"

NETFLIX GAG: 'Before you scroll to exit, go up one and "Get Help' you need it!' Laughed Edna. Bertie was not amused.

 

Click here for ebook page

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025

 

 

 

 

 

War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy: Reflections

 

 

 

 

 

War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy: Reflections

 

This work, as Tolstoy saw it, rather than a novel, is of great length. It requires studious attention as it unfolds. Prinicipally it follows the the fortunes of the aristocracy in 19th Century Russia at the time of The Napoleanonic Wars. More than that though, it describes the horrors of war and its consequences. The characters are shown on the battlefield while an overview of the military campaign is given alongside this. Therefore it demands from the reader various skills, firstly in tradition novel character form and then in analysis of military maneuvers.

 

A main theme within the book is the nature of war itself. What is it? Why does it happen and what drives it. Tolstoy puts forward that it is Deity which causes it. His argument is that war happens of its own accord within the governance of the known universe. He rejects the notion of great men who cause it and carry it out to great effect. For Tolstoy, war has a mind of its own unto which it spirals endlessly. It is hap-hazard and owes little to great tacticians rathet it is sheer chaos out of which spring rapid opportunities of advance for one side or the other. 

 

Tolstoy also asks why the people consent to it? Do they unconditionally give allegiance to the state they live in regardless of its political culture. We can ask if nationalism overides all other considerations such as state dissent. We can ask if certain hypnotic figures emerge who cause the people to converge around him/her. Many have argued that war is in human nature. Tolstoy dismisses the historians and their various attributes to Mankind. For him there can be no doubt that the major factor lies in a force that governs life.

 

Overall, the work is a challenge to take on and requires great patience and time from the reader. The characters and their fortunes, plus their search for the meaning of life, enthral as they harbour within this. The vivid descriptions of life in 19th Century Russia is an education within itself. Then the reader is challenged to think deeply about the nature of war, life itself even and the causes of it. It requires reading routine and discipline to keep with it. It is well worth the effort to discover the depths of this Russian Literary Classic.

 

  

Alan Ewing, Cert HE, BA (Hons), MSc 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:  The follow-up work "Anna Karenina"was considered by Tolstoy to be his first actual novel. In this book Tolstoy is simply writing a novel with characters. Aristocracy again in 19th Century Russia, although without the long passges of war scenes and general philosophy on a Deity which is difficult to identify. Essntially Tolstoy concentrates on charcter romance.

 

 

 

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025 

 

Writer's Perogative, a jotting by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writer's's Perogative

a jotting by Alan Ewing 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Musician I may be

Never free

Actor for lines

So fine

Puppets on string

Not a thing

Like dancers same

Someone's game

You see a writer

God's little fighter

Pulls the strings

With such things

As ideas on the wind

Ideology within

The writer is the power

Within rhyming hour

You see it's in the pen

To say here and then

Words are the way

Within a writer's play

 

 

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025

Songs From A Dusty Cabinet, by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Songs From A Dusty Cabinet

by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

Over Easter 2025, I was decluttering and having a bit of a sort out, as I aim to move in the near future. It was upon opening my dusty cabinet for a Spring clean that I came across a batch of songs long forgotten about. Two of the songs were quite clearly written for 'Aylon', my musical monicker, from a childhood nickname given by my late middle-sister. They were thus added to Aylon's 'Landican Village' digital LP.  The others were for a different project, and I present them here under my own pen name in the form of an online digital EP.  

 

 

 

SONGS FROM A DUSTY CABINET 

digital EP

by Alan Ewing 

 Tracks 

Check Your Money

Flies In Your Mince Pies

Catch 23

Down (But Not Out)

Problem Solver

Dance Trance

 

Click to play digital EP here 

Click To Play

 

 

Broken Gem, a lyric by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

BROKEN GEM

a lyric by Alan Ewing

 

 

I’ve been thinking it over

But I’ve not yet come to terms

My feelings are like a Supernova

I feel them turn and turn

You took a ride at my expense

And dropped the ticket in my lap

Then you say in your defence

That you read me like a map

Did you have to take it and break it

The gem that we had found

Now you’ll have to fake it and make it

The false love that will abound

Is it me who takes the blame

For what you can’t achieve

It could now never be the same

Because I am not so naive

So who is going to play the fool

Who’s going to provide the laughter

Who will smile and keep their cool

From this moment hereafter

Did you have to take it and break it

The gem that we had found

Now you’ll have to fake it and make it

The false love that will abound

I’ll take on new horizons

And make some new plans

It’s a new horse that I’m ridin'

A new beach with its sands

So keep looking over your shoulder

For what might be in reserve

You just got colder and colder

You really have a nerve

Did you have to take it and break it

The gem that we had found

Now you’ll have to fake it and make it

The false love that will abound

 

 

 

copyright dewysband 2025

The Stone Rejected, a lyric by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

THE STONE REJECTED

a lyric by Alan Ewing

 

 

(with reference to Mark 12 1-11; Psalm 118:22)

Sorrows never will be drowned

No one will push you to the ground

Love will rise again I promise you that

We’ll never bow upon their mat

Time is the factor that heals the wounds

Evil has no victory it is doomed

So don’t give in to it’s ways

For The Good Lord shall have His Day

The stone rejected

Has now become a rock

Truly strong and majestic

They shall no longer mock

Sit and wait for the Omega factor

While working out the meaning of Alpha

Start the fight with spiritual prowl

For you know the time is now

Put your trust in God above

If they push then give a shove

Like Job persist all the way

Never allow your faith to sway

The stone rejected

Has now become a rock

Truly strong and majestic

They shall no longer mock

Take on your arm a shield

And to their toll you must not yield

Hold in your hand a sword

And in your soul obey Natural Law

It’s over it’s falling and that’s The Truth

No longer will they pervert the youth

In days of old The Prophets did see

That God’s People would be free

 

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025