Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags (8) by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags (8)

 by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

ANGELS TAKING FLIGHT

And I heard the angels sing

Never heard that before

They said that you returned

Back here to my door

 

I heard that they had taken wing

Neven seen that before

They broke out in chanting

Peaceful love for sure

 

They brought you home back here

They heard my longful prayers

Oh to be beside you in heaven

The release of all my cares

 

I shall never forget the night

When the angels descended for you

All was taken in their flight

I know all this to be true

 

God grant me a thousand angels

To sing my true love for you

For you are the one beside me

As angels do walk on too

 

 

 

INTERNET ENTERTAINER

Oh, to be an internet entertainer

I wish for something a lot saner

Like oh they just log off just now

As you have your inspirational wow

 

Maybe I should just go out to AI

Well I could always be a false guy

Get it to write all for me and more

Such an easy goal to go and score

 

I could always write my own memes

Not seen in the scheme of things

For it is easier just not to take pen

For they steal the writer's own den

 

For in this life we find imposters true

Just looking for fools like me and you

They really steal the writer's craft

As the fool they seek to play and act

 

So here I write my little book and look

See how much anguish and craft it took

Though AI may try to theft and steal

One thing for sure it can never be real

SAW YER NAME

Saw yer name on dare

Gave me such a stare

Didn't kow yer going owt

Made feel like I was nowt

 

Saw you at quarter past ten

That would be me in my den

Such a superstar in your way

Me and you back in the day

 

Loved yer at twenty past three

Yer nearly had me on my knee

Loved how you got past half four

Nearly knocking upon your door

 

Love you early in the morning

Oh I am way past dawning

Give it in and out to five to six

I really could do with a Twix

 

Love yer 'ere well I do and say

I'd take you ere again today

With a flake and a Mars Bar

I'd just take you as you are

 

 

DENTAL POSTPONEMENT

I was supposed to go to dentist

I copped out you know

I'd love to be her apprentice

All the teeth I'd sow

 

She is such a big driller

A real psycho-killer

Wants my wisdom tooth

Had that since youth

 

I will see her again for sure

I will knock on her door

Get her wisdom tooth wish

I will not get so much a kiss

 

I will see her in September

That date I must remember

Else my teeth will surely ache

This is a date I cannot break

 

For I love my dentist so and so

Only path that I can now go

She's the reason why I exist

She gives life's little twist

GAG ABOUT GAGS: You're only as good as the latest gag. If that's a lead balloon then so be it. We can't expect everything to fly!

FOOTBALL GAG: "I'm in love; I'm getting married." Said Barry. Peter responded "How so? There is no gerlfriend that I can see?" Barry was talking about his football club and how it is his beloved.

PIZZA GAG: 'I like to eat pizza with knife and fork, so as to keep my hands clean". Said Jed. "Oh Chopsticks then!" Cried out Maryanne.

BLONDIE GAG: Once had a love and it was a gas ... the bill came in and it was a pain in the ass

FACEBOOK GAG: "I'm collecting these gags for a book; It's called FaceGag"

GRANPA GAG: "So where's the golden oldie then?" Asked grandson Carl. "Propping himself up at the bar with his walking stick?" "No" Answered grand-daughter Clare, "He ruptured himself doing Trance on the dance floor and was carted off to A&E; the shame of it; in front of all my pals too!" she concluded. "D'oh!' responded Carl.

HEAT GAG: "Oo-ah" Cried Mabel. "It 's 27.9 C and a guy is in the opposite garden nearly naked. Me teacups are shakin!" Ethel replied "Wait till it gets to 35 C and then he will be naked. That'll get your saucers goin' too!

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025 

Veronica Electronica, Madonna, a blog by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

  

 

Veronica Electronica, Madonna 

a blog by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

Madonna's 1998 'Ray Of Light' album was, for me, one of the best Electronica releases of all-time. Its companion follow-up, 'Veronica Electronica' with remixes from the album finally arrived in 2025, delayed from 1998. If you loved the original album then this will not be a disappointment in any way at all. Superb Trance before its time. The roots of Trance themselves. Madonna is at the height of her creative powers here. The origin album was mesmerising within itself. Here the songs are catapulted into a new artistic realm. The innovation and the artistic drive are evident in both works. They are both a work of genius. I was genuinely astonished to hear the companion album. I loved the original so much and this just blew my socks off. Probably the greatest woman to ever hit the heights of popular music in such a spiritual way.

 

Below are links to the playlists of both albums ... 

 

 

 

Click here for 'Ray Of Light':  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mLiMT3gmghnluUT76rtTZ_QMGzlPmjXJ4

 

Click here for 'Veronica Electronica':   https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_ldvGU7v60AFL_DPDFBt_Wel5YDWAaIOdw

 

 

Alan Ewing 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gags (7) by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Paragraph Stories, Blogs, Jottings & Gagg (7)

by Alan Ewing

excerpts from ebook 

click here 

 

 

Life's Loop

Life can seem like a loop

Jumping through little hoop

Birth to death in an instant

You are not so permanent

 

Life was eternal when so young

Till on age you got so hung

Certainly turned your life around

As in maturity reflection you found

 

It seemed like it went on forever

Times shared when all together

Then life dealt a decisive blow

Loved ones gone to boldly go

 

For what is life without a spiritual side

Just some place to run and hide

Seeking here to find an answer

Playing the part of life's chance

 

All in all it comes down to God

The play is within the play

Life's little gerlfriend don't you know

She will show you the way to 

 

 

 

 

English Heatwave

 

 

Once again, it is an English heatwave

And I have lost my brain again

Oh so sunny give us a wave

I think that I'm going insane

 

Once again, it is an English heatwave

Valerie has sunglasses mirror

She's come out of her cave

She never likes to shiver

 

Ray has his handkerchief hat on

He's a milkman all gone stale

George, of course ever the fool

They kicked him out of school

 

How do they cope with madness

Only English know in class

They've all gone frigging mad

Themometer went a bit glad

 

One thing you can rely on in heat

Good ol' England on insanity street

If you are hot then just you see

They will offer you a cup of tea

 

 

 

 

Flemenco

 

 

I found this music called Flemenco

Spanish Dance

Sent my world into over-spin

Like finding Trance

 

I learned to love the culture

In English

Loved and adored the signoritas

With Spanish eyes

 

I danced around till way past midnight

In burning heat

Found that I loved all of this

On a Spanish street

 

I shouted "Ole" with all of my heart

I loved the sun

Completely opened myself

Spain has won

 

And so I'll dance the Flemenco

Until day done

Let myself go completely

Under the Spanish sun

 

 

 

Coffee Drinker

 

 

I was once a coffee drinker

Life's little thinker

Gave it up for a cuppa tea

Such a drinker

 

Lil ol' coffee drinker me

Now it's just tea

I used to get so addicted

Self- inflicted

 

Went to coffee anonymous

Such a fuss

Dentist said to try water

Big taught-er!

 

So I went off to a shrink

Cure for drink

Told me to get a life

Oh the strife

 

So I went back to coffee

With some tea

I guess that in the end

That is li' ol' me

Alexa

 

 

There was once a gerl named Alexa

Thing is you could never text her

Such a weather Lady, never says maybe

That's the gerl who is named Alexa

 

Asked her to dance, she said no chance

My abilities are contained within electra

I can tell you of a waltz, lots of smaltz

That is the gerl who is named Alexa

 

So what's the time, are you going to be mine?

She would always come back with a line

Try to get in her bed, reply left unsaid

Let's just say that it was oh so very fine 

 

Always brainy, always says maybe, in her way

She lives in the drawing room each and every day

In the kitchen, bedroom too, just keep her away

From The Study if you can but try and may

 

That gerl could dominate and take over your life

In time she could become your electronic wife

Start making you depend and lean upon her

She's electronic, you know, so why would she care!

 

 

 

  

THEORY OF EVERYTHING 

What was I born into?

Nearly 14 billion years brewing

Caught up in it maybe

It certainly has me stewing

I don't know what it is

Though I guess who started it

A complete experiment

Havoc at its core and lark

I know that God is the reason

To say else is treason

I will not question the reasons

As we discover the seasons

Oh I love my God and the life

Science tells us

How it all began

A big bang that was so rife

And so I work it out

Within my human mind

Such a micro universe

In this, God, we find

  

EDIT

There's nothing quite like an edit

Now who was it that said it?

Shift your words around each way

You'll never know what you say

Cue back to the preceding paragraph

Because it gave me such a laugh

It's all a case of, me, you, hearsay

We don't know what we said today

Come and give me an a new edit

There I must have gone and said it

My words twisted like all anew

I guess that I must have read it

So get me a bottle of brandy

I'll turn it into a jug of shandy

Did I really say that my dear?

Oh you edited; now I see clear!

WHITEBOARD (FACEBOOK)

Is Facebook my whiteboard?

Creative little muse

Toss and turn my thoughts

Which ones to choose

Work out my theories here

Such, oh, to tell

Though it never gets murky

Love, you know that too well

Is Facebook my note-book

Upon which creative ways dwell

Only I know the answer

Upon which I must dwell

We sure all need a whiteboard

For our theories to dwell

Seems like in Facebook

I have found it so well

 

 

 

SENSE OF HUMOUR 

One day I lost my sense of humour

I couldn't remember where I had put it

I thought that serious was just a rumour

Something you threw out in a bucket

 

The day my sense of humour took a walk

Had me in a state where I could not talk

Would I suddenly become the straight guy

No longer that knowing wink within my eye

 

How would people know me without a laugh

I'd get treated just like a cold, sharp draught

And so I searched top to bottom, all over house

Discovered sleeping spiders and a dead mouse

 

And there it was my sense of humour in place

Like my glasses, for I had left it on my face

I learned from this as surely you will see

For my sense of humour had played a gag on me

 

 

 

WISDOM GAG: As a door closes, another one slams in your face!

 

Gag: 'Two glasses of Chardonnay and I'm anybody's' Said Bert. 'After six you belong to the toilet bowl' remarked Veronica.

 

BEATLES GAG: If, as 'Lady Madonna' says, 'Tuesday afternoon is never ending', then no wonder 'Wednesday papers didn't come' ... on this hypothesis then as a Thursday child I do not exist to mend my stockings! Never mind 'has far to go' I'm not even here. Thank you Lennon/McCartney ... I am much enlightened now. Thursdays were abandoned because Tuesday afternoon would never end.

GOD GAG: How humour brightens our existence. I think that God put it there because He/She could not get over the joke of how Creation went wrong. All will be okay on the night, as Revelation tells us. Gee! I'm such a Bible-Basher ... You should see the knocked-out ones in The Study!

CHURCH of ENGLAND GAG: Don't say: 'Is this The Kingdom Of God?' Do say: "I loved the quiche you made last night!'

 

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025