Late Summer Writing (3) by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

 

 Late Summer Writing  (3) 

by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

Summer Ends 

 

We bid goodbye to Summer
As it comes to an end
Planet tilts, ardour wilts
As our love we send

So how was your little Summer?
Did it treat you well?
Finding love under the apple tree?
If not then just as well

For Summer's love ends forlorn
As leaves fall from the trees
Though Autumn brings love reborn
As it refreshes with its breeze

Oh your heart seems lost now
Though you always get through
Always a case of work on somehow
Because Winter is kind, that's true

So take your aching Summer heart
And take lessons from the wind
It blows, gusts as it plays its part
As Spring promises a new start

LOVE GAG: I gave up falling in love because it drained my resources. Like her turning up for a bath, having my naps disturbed, having to go out, all the chocolate gone in fridge, being bossed around, not able to make a decision without approval, not able to set my own routine, debating about what to watch on TV, arguing about nothing, constant clashes about nothing, not able to move without being questioned about my intentions, told that I neglect her ... life is never the same

My Pen

What happened to my pen?
I must have left it there again
I was just about to write lines
About how my heart just pines

Oh, gee, my silly old gold pen
Looks like I've just lost it again
Typical when I am in this mood
To write something so crude

Now where did I leave my pen
Did I just leave it in my den
That's The Study if you know
My little place where I go

Now someone knows of my pen
Maybe it was stolen once again
I'll catch that thief oh for sure
Regret breaking through my door

I will surely find my pen again
Without it I would go insane
My best friend all it means to me
For my pen sets me free

 

GOD GAG: I wouldn't say that I'm overly religious, I just believe in God.

Best Friend

 

 

A Best Friend?
There isn't one
At life's end
All love gone

Often a surprise
From distance
Those being eyes
Saw your existence

Angel from above
Not expected
Saw you love
And selected

A huge relief
To know that so
Inspires belief
The way to go

Who did you think
Was your best friend?
Just another link
To find God's end

GAG: Dave was still searching for the ice cube that he dropped on the floor the night before.

 copyright dewyswriter 2025

 

Late Summer Writing (2) by Alan Ewing

Late Summer Writing (2) by Alan Ewing

 

THE GREAT CHEESE DEBATE: Everybody knows it's made from Cow's milk' said Bertie. 'Not so', piped up Tommy, "It grows on Cheese Plants like my dad told me!" Graham laughed: 'You're both wrong. The Moon is made of cheese, as Wallace & Gromit proved. It gets imported to Earth by rockets!'

 

AI Gerl

Excuse me!
I asked.
Why should I?
She replied
Can you comply?
I requested.
No! I can't.
She answered.
Do you mind?
I stated.
Not a bit.
She said.
It was funny
And was sunny
She took time
No friend of mine
It was all AI
Latest model
Developed fault
Not worth its salt
Her name was Pepper.

 

101 Labradors

All I wish for is 101 Labrador puppies
With Siamese kittens to match
I'd be such a very happy yuppy
If life allow this without a catch 

A few years to go with economics
Till I can find a bit of Peace
You know I'll go supersonic
When I finally find release

Sometimes I tire and want to be with The Lord
I long for Him to arrive to avenge with sword
Though I know that Love is so complicated
And I do not wish to end up exasperated

I just long for domestic bliss in life
Like cosying down after a day
With loved ones who actually care
And it's not put down to heresay

And so I wish for 101 Labrador puppies
With Siamese Kittens to match
For what is life without an aim?
A silly old troubled and futile game

 

The Great Cake

This was the day of the cake. Gerald had staked everything upon it to impress Geraldine. He told her that it would be the greatest cake ever made. It would blow off the Victoria Sponges, Swiss Rolls and Bakewell Tarts. Nothing would ever match it in history for sure. He was convinced that he would win her.
Come the day for his presentation to her, Gerald ended up in a mess. His cake was flat because he forgot to put in the Baking Powder. He was mortified. How could this happen? He had forgotten his own ingredient - arrogance. Geraldine laughed and said that it was a piece of cake to walk out upon him.

 

BLONDE GAG: How many blondes does it take to change a light-bulb? Answer: Too many! 

 

My Church of England Rosary Bead

My Church of England
Rosary Bead
Means so much
At my touch

Not Roman Catholic
Anglo Catholic
My dedication
Oh my frustration

I pray for Love 
To reign
An end
To war and pain 

I need Resurrection
Within my soul
Holy Ghost
Is my goal

My Church of England
Rosary Bead
Means so much
At my touch

 

Fizz

I got in a bit of a tizz 
Bottle of pop went fizz
Tried a little Brandy
Made me go randy
A Mrs from a Mizz

Tried to get my head
Together all said
Into a state of finesse
Tried for the best
I'd be better off dead

Tried to make amends
Ended up with dead-ends
You're taking the joke
When you really do poke
At the love that I send

Going out of my mind 
You are really so kind
For a great cup of tea
That made me see
All that I could find

So now my mind is clear
It's very easy to steer
To where I should go
I'd like you to know
All is well around here

 

Move On

When I move on
I'll move
faster than sound
in a groove

When I walk on
no talk
silence of footsteps
I'll heed all sorts

When I leave you
just so
speed of movement
I will go

When it is time
on clock
take my steps
key in lock 

When comes dawn
I will leave
que on time
you better believe

 

Frustration

When nobody is on your level
Like tuning in an old FM radio
When you feel like everyone 
Is playing the devil

When you feel you are going 
Out of your mind
And feel inclined
To go out and do some sowing

When life has brought you
All lemons, no lemonade
When nothing makes any sense
I've been there too

When there seems to be
Nobody around
Not even a sound
It gets hard to see

Though know that moments
Are only still
And you find within yourself
A symphonic thrill

 

 

 

The Pharmacist

My pharmacist
Is Abayda
Muslim gerl
Takes a twirl
Lovely Abayda

Gets my pills 
On time
Wish that she
Was mine
Gorgeous Abayda

Sweet Muslim
Gerl
Head in 
A twerl
Oh Abayda

Tradition dress
Never a mess
Hear it for
Beautiful Abayda

Always my friend
I say
Peace Be Upon You
Sweet Abayda

 

The Bum's Rush

Did you 
Get it?
Saiddit
The Rush

Up yer
Bum
Hardly
Fun

Adorable 
Got 
Pinched
Ouch!

Surprise
In eyes
It came
For true

Hardly sit
On it
You know
Bum's Rush

 

Every Word

Every word
She says
I hang
Upon
My woman
friend
For love
is Anon
Trust given
All weight
Gone now
Oh how
Soul mate
not too
late
Take a
bow
Love 
Oh how

 

So

So
this is
it
What
you
may 
wonder
Is
going 
on
Well 
It
Is
You
Driving 
Me
Around 
The
Bend
Again

 

EXISTENTIAL GAG: I think, therefore I am a lunatic

 

copyright dewyswriter 2025

Late Summer Writing, by Alan Ewing

Late Summer Writing  

by Alan Ewing

 

 

 

 

Two Paragraph Stories

 

 

 The Waltz Of Prince Gerwin 

  

Prince Gerwin was all primed to dance the waltz of his life. His beloved, Princess Eunice, awaited him on the dance floor, along with supporting couples arranged around the ballroom. The orchestra was busy tuning up for this night of delights. Prince Gerwin went to one of the side rooms to sip another glass of champagne and change.
The orchestra burst into a Strauss waltz and the floor of dancers began to sway. Prince Gerwin's beloved awaited his entrance to join the ensemble. Everything ground to a sudden halt on Prince Gerwin's entrance. His fiancé fainted on the spot. The rest of the room just stared in disbelief. Prince Gerwin had forgotten to put his trousers back on after being in the rest room.

 

 

 

Military-Style Jacket 

 

Joe was on fire. He had just got kitted out with his new military-style jacket. He always fancied himself as a revolutionary. And he was on for a date with Amanda, the new girl at work. He feasted on steak and chips at lunch time as he felt ravenous. He just felt like it was all going for him.
That night, Amanda stood him up. Joe was desolate and started crying into the beer that he had ordered. He stumbled at the bar and a bottle of blackcurrant juice splashed all over his military jacket. Joe was no longer on fire; in fact he needed a good hosing down.

 

 

Dominoes 

'Who needs Love affairs?' Said Albert as he mooched over a pint reflecting on Edna. For what is love but an illusion of the human heart? Albert took another sip from his pint, thinking about the romantic dates and the evenings spent dancing. Albert had adored having Edna in his life thought was far too attached to his single ways. All of this inner conflict was bound to come to a head. 

It all came to an end when he would not forego his dominoes night at the pub. Albert was 83 and set in his ways. Edna was 69 and felt herself to be a toy-gerl, a play-thing. It all came down to dominoes falling in their numbers. Such an addiction are dominoes. And so Edna lost her love to a game of dominoes. No double six.

 

 

 

 

 

Jottings & Gags 

 

 

 

Mojo 

For David Grieve [Beloved writer friend, retired CofE priest]

I thought I'd lost my mojo
It came back like a yoyo
All my inspiration held so dear
Came right back without a fear

I thought I'd lost my mojo
Within the pouring rain
Suddenly it came back
The writer's little game

I thought I'd lost my mojo
I was oh so sad and blue
Seems that it was always with me
It never leaves; it's oh so true

I thought that I'd lost my mojo
Upon a darkened night
Turns out it was under the settee
Oh it gave me such a fright

I thought that I'd lost my mojo
Seems like it never leaves
Life without it seems so lost
Priceless is its cost

 

 

 

Fall Into Autumn 

 

Fall into Autumn
Let's cry
Summer love
Goodbye

Little romance
Some chance
Of it
Everlasting

Oh so false
Not true
Imagination
Through

No depth
Out of step
Silly chance
No glance

So tomorrow
In reality
Nothin' broken
Ah can see

The Smart Pen

WRITING GAG: The Smart Pen. Contains a built-in voice which shouts "Oi! I feel like a spare part. Can we get some work done please?" The writer, lost in doing nothing other than messing about on social media, proceeds to throw it out of the window!

 

 

  

 copyright dewyswriter 2025